"You've got mail"

Remember when e-mail was new?  The AOL voice announcing each e-mail sounded happy--like "Guess what present I have for you!" You've!  Got! Mail!" 

My friend Linda in Cape Cod said, "I love writing letters.  If we start doing e-mail we won't write letters anymore."

It didn't take long to prove her right.  We got on board with e-mail, so convenient, virtually free and delivered instantly. Now, texts have replaced e-mails, quick notes with emojis to reflect tone, mood, approval, enthusiasm, and affection.

Younger text-ers use shorthand, like idk for "I don't know." If they are feeling generous, they respond with one word: "Cool!" Or a heart emoji.

Now that I am on a "mailing list," I spend several minutes every day deleting emails informing me that I have won a Dyson vacuum cleaner, a drill from Lowe's, a trip to Costa Rica, a cure for erectile dysfunction, or a $500 shopping spree--you name it. Then a few minutes deleting all the requests for reviews from stores--ten questions for a bag of Reese's seems disproportionate. 

What was once a screen room for conversations among friends has become a jungle of strangers. If there were a voice announcing all these emails, it would be dour: "You've got junk to clean up in Aisle 7."