GIving and Receiving Gifts

I am a member of a conversation salon, led by someone who has a real talent for engaging conversations in unique ways.

We meet once a month, not knowing until we arrive what we'll be talking about.  Tonight, we were asked to bring three wrapped gifts, but we weren't told ahead of time what we'd be doing with them. The stipulation was that we weren't allowed to buy anything; we were to choose something from our houses.

First, we talked about gifts and the five love languages: Did we prefer touching, material gifts, words, service, or quality time?  And what kind of messages did we get from our family of origin about gifts?  

Then, we each picked our first gift from under a sparkling white tree.  One by one, we opened our gifts, just as you'd do at a Christmas party.  My gift was a goddess statue. Through the package it felt like a corkscrew, just the right size and hardness.  Others got socks, perfume, jewelry, tea pots….

Then, we picked our second gift and were told to respond honestly.  This turned out to be hilarious!  If you didn't like the gift or if you couldn't imagine what you'd do with it, that's exactly what you said. (While strangely liberating, this round made me a bit nervous--touching on the universal fear that what we give or receive won't be acceptable.) 

Then, we were given a guide to responding to gifts: talk about all the things you like about it (and sometimes, for some, that was a stretch); talk about how you'd use or enjoy it; showcase it or pass it around, etc.  Some could genuinely say they liked Gift #3--but even if you didn't love it, you had to respond with enthusiastic gratitude.  

Some of the gifts were keepers; some were not.  But the process of giving and opening and responding was hilarious, breaking through the conventions of traditional gift giving.  For me, the real gift was the laughter of it all! 

On the first round, we noticed that we all picked the prettier packages, the ones wrapped with bows. Un-bowed packages and bags were the last to be chosen.  From that, we concluded that there's something special about knowing that the person took the time to think about presentation of the gift.

In the end, if we'd gotten something we didn't really want, we put it on a bench and anyone who wanted it could take it.

If you're looking for a way to enliven the Christmas traditions, I highly recommend this.

I'm thinking now of the gifts I want to give my grandchildren.  Do I go with the money option--since at a certain age most kids prefer to have money to choose what they want?  Do I give them things from my house?  Do I give them handcrafted special things or books that I love? 

Whatever I decide, I'm going to put it in a box and wrap it with pretty paper and put a bow on it--that's all I know right now.  Even socks are rather special if wrapped in shiny paper with a big sparkly bow on it.