Sigmund Freud on velvet

My handyman has been here for three days.  He's a great painter, a natural comedian, and it takes him two days to do what some might do in one--"because I don't hurry to do nothing!" he said.

He was telling me this morning that he has a picture of Sigmund Freud in his bedroom.  (At fifty-something, he still lives with his "deadbeat" brothers in their parents' house.)   Under the profile of Sigmund Freud, it says, "What's on a Man's Mind."

"I didn't notice anything about it for about twenty years," he said.  "But one night I was stoned and I saw that his profile looked exactly like a woman's body.  Now that I've seen it, I can't see it any other way!"

"What was my mama thinking buying that for me?" he wonders.  "But I tell you what--I wouldn't sell it for anything.  I had this girlfriend once who offered me two hundred dollars, but I told her my mama gave it to me and I wouldn't take five hundred dollars for it!"

My handyman would be a good-looking man--except that he has very few teeth left.  He's innately smart, but not educated.  His reading skills are limited, but he can fix or build or figure out how to do anything--and he has an incredible memory.  Once I sent him a thank you card and he tells me that he still has it.  "Nobody ever sent me a card before--I mean unless it was a girlfriend or something," he says.

I like him just the way he is--but I can't help wondering what he could have done or been, had he had the advantages and education to guide him to do more with his keen mind.  "My parents wanted me to get an education," he said.  "But back then I was stupid and all I cared about was drugs and shit."

"People are always trying to sell me stolen tools--I mean, good as new, for twenty bucks.  But I know they stole 'em from people like me, out of their trucks.  I wouldn't pay money for something that they stole from somebody who works hard like me."

He takes his time and does the job right.  After he's done, he sweeps the whole driveway and washes up.  I trust him completely.  He has a key to my house.

When he left today, his last words were, "Call me and let me know how your uncles are doing--and if you go to Georgia, I'll take care of things here for you."