Morning Texts From Mike: Exhibit A

Mike gave me permission to quote him here.  He does way better in actual speech, I promise!

                   2 a.m.

My whole childhood was listing to my mother correct my father's grandma he loved it and I am sure that he did it on purpose

Ain't was corrected 40 million times in my house

Double negatives was my father's specialty

I made my best grades in English class

It was like my dad was flirting with my mom.  She knew she had to say something because my brother and I were listening

I would laugh every time my mother would catch my dad saying bad grammar

he truly loved her

                                Later in the morning:


I still have the paper towel sitting on my kitchen counter that you wrote for me smart ass

I don't throw away anything that your hand has been on

never end a sentence with a preposition

my dad dough [dove] out of the window of a German Lutheran school in the fourth grade I think my mother held him in the fourth grade all his life because she didn't want to promote him out of her class

My father spent his whole life in my mother's fourth grade English class and never promoted

I don't think he wanted to be promoted he didn't care about rules anyway

He loved the teacher and didn't want to change.

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         Mike's mother (like Mike) was a college graduate.  His father quit school in fourth grade--but he was a brilliant man (except in grammar) like Mike.  I'm starting to think Mike's texts are his way of flirting with the English teacher so he can get extra attention! I told him that if he'd been in my English class, I'd have spent my entire materials budget on red pens, just for him.