Last night after yoga, a few of us were standing by our parked cars talking--when the subject of aging came up.
The new receptionist at the chiropractor's office had called me "Sweetie" this morning: "Do you see those stairs out there, Sweetie?" she asked, directing me to my chiropractor's new office space.
A very young doctor had told Maggie, sotto voce and winking, as if he were in on the secret, "It's like I tell a lot of my patients, Aging sucks!"
I could come up with a page full of other examples--of young people calling older people by names that don't sound good unless the person saying them (a) means them as genuine terms of endearment, (b) knows you personally, and (c) is close to your age or older. If said by a stranger, they sound patronizing--because they are.
Most of us in yoga class were sixty or more, including the teacher. Like people of any age, we like to be called by our names; "Sweetheart" and "Sweetie" are not our names. From waiters, doctors, store clerks, and other strangers, they reduce us all to doughy little grannies.
Imagine a healer in a culture that respects age saying "Aging sucks!"
A rose by any other name might smell as sweet, but should we trust "medical professionals" whose vocabularies for the incredible landscape of age are limited to one verb?
Wouldn't they be just as likely to say--after a complex diagnosis--"Just take an aspirin"?
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