Live Love Laugh

On childhood trips to Daytona Beach, Bob and I could hardly wait to stop at a restaurant called The Green Frog.  Not particularly for the food, but for the toys and trinkets you could get there.  

Traveling in other directions, say to Chattanooga to see our Harris relatives, we were just as excited to stop at Stuckey's--wtih their signs and jingles, "Just wait til you get to Stuckey's; Stuckey's is not very far...."

Backseat kids must have been the target audience for these food stops.  Stuffed and plastic animals, bows and arrows, and all manner of cute things created a festive air of expectations and it was worth the wait.  

The super gas stations of today are Stuckey's on Steroids.  You can buy anything you want: kitchenwares, sweat shirts and jerseys, deli foods, toys, you name it. Roadside stations big and small feature a wall or two of rhinestone pocket books, fringy blouses, crosses, flags, and inspirational quotes on distressed wooden plaques. 

Inevitably two signs are always in on the wall: 

Believe

Live Love Laugh

Believe what? I always wonder.  Believe in.... the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy? 

America the Beautiful?  Jesus? Yourself? It could be anything you like, just believe something. the soggy seems to say. 

"Live Love Laugh" is printed, painted, stitched, and stenciled on wood, paper and fabric millions of times a year.  

The book I'm reading now is entitled Live Love Laugh--written by Kristin Kobes Du Mez  a scholar and historian of religious movements in American for the past two centuries. It's subtitled: The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made. 

Live Love Laugh

Six years ago, I read her excellent book, Jesus and John Wayne--that traced the shift from gentle lesus in the Gospels to big strong tough John Wayne Jesus.  A big segment of the Christian communities of the time yearned for a more "badass" Jesus.  An Alpha Jesus.  Jesus with big muscles and a gun. 

In this her most recent book, she traces the long and bumpy road to the changes in religious sentiments that have led to the current political climate.  

it's a fascinating read!

When it's for your own good

When we were children and had to take medicine, our parents told us it was for our own good.

Now that we are adults, that phrase is a cover for manipulation: I know better than you do what's good for you.

My least favorite cliche in the English language--when people gang up on another adult or violate her privacy--is "We're only telling you this (doing this, revealing your secrets, whatever) because we LOVE you."

When the boundary busters and the boundary bustee are in their 70s, both sides know how it feels to be treated as if we've lost our marbles:  it's patronizing and insulting for a person, or group of persons, pretending to be benevolent, to share our private information with someone else (our children,  spouse, best friend) hoping to get them in on the same icky "love" attack. 

Here's my opinion: If you really love a person, don't go over their heads or behind their backs.  If you think I have a problem, take a look in the mirror and attend to your own --I've got mine covered. Most of my family--including my children--give me credit for having a brain. 

As you can guess, I've recently been the target of some love bombing "for my own good." 

A person in one of my friend groups decided that some of the meds I take could--taken together--cause death.  She told two other friends, then texted my children late Sunday night to name the meds I take and warn them.

If I had known they were so curious, I'd have emailed them all a list of my prescriptions and invited them to join me on my next doctor's visit--why not?  But not one of them asked me for that information--they took it on the authority of the one who'd texted and called Day and Will.  Who does that to a competent adult friend who still has her share of marbles?

I've had friends who've walked Luci on days I couldn't, brought me dinner on a bad day, gone with me to doctors' appointments, and done all manner of things to get me through the hardest days.  I can't count the times those gestures of love have made me teary with gratitude, like now, right now, right this minute. 

Labor Day Weekend in Athens:

Day and Tom, Jackson and Deanna, and Marcus and Lucia drove down from Virginia to visit Nana for a belated birthday celebration.   What a van-load of happy! 

Nana and Tom

Luci and Nana

Deanna and Nana

Jackson--who's 25 in October

Gratitude to those of you who read this blog

I don't know who. reads this blog--only numbers.  I was happy this week to see that up to 55 people read my blog without a theme!  

I started this on a road trip to the west coast 13 years ago and I found that this space just kept me writing. 

Thank you so much to all of you who have read it!  

What I'm Reading, Watching, and Making

 Books I'm reading this week: 

On Netflix:

The Airport Chaplain

Private Life

Paddleton

On Prime:

Mr. Burton--excellent movie about the young Richard Burton and his teacher

PBS

Here I Stand--about Dolly Parton

Saved by the World: A documentary about Mary Oliver

Online Art Classes 

I won a 6 week course on gel printing that begins in mid-October. 

I purchased a class on collage from the Take Two site of outstanding art tutorials; I've barely begun, but it's going to be a great class. 

Lyn Belisle's outstanding classes on making reliquaries

I continue to watch a wealth of classes as a member of The Handmade Book Club--today's being a fun class, "Mixed Media Embroidery Hoop"

This is the only book I've made headway on this summer.  The book is made of one 32x22" sheet of watercolor paper.  This is only the beginning.  It still needs content and closures, and I'll show you those when I'm done;

Some days, some years even, are like the air and solid ground. All is well. People behave the way we'd like them to.  We seem to behave the way other people like us to. Stories have happy endings.

Some days, some years even, shake us up. We encounter paradoxes and disturbing things.  They part the curtain and introduce us to formerly unimaginable things we'd rather not see.  Or the slow accretions of aging we've gone through for years suddenly lurch into the foreground, demanding attention. 

Two nights ago I had the unique-to-me opportunity to ride inside an ambulance. My back went out trying to remove a compression stocking. 

Four medics showed up and got me onto a stretcher while Jan supervised.  The newness and suddenness of the situation made me wish I'd packed a Go Bag for times like these. What should I take?  Who would care for Luci? Should I call my family in Virginia, Georgia and Colorado?  Jan handed me my phone (low charge) and the men got my pocket book and a pillow from my bed.

These men did the kind of work Will used to do: taking blood pressure, putting little sticky things on my chest, asking questions, treating me with kindness. 

I felt like a minor character in The Pitt--being rolled into an emergency room. But unlike the full noisy cast of The Pitt, The NE Baptist Hospital was almost deserted as far as I could see. The main guy in charge of Back-Out-Lady stayed with me in the hall until I was checked in, and we had one of those small world conversations that revealed pretty soon that he knew one of my best friends who, like him, had grown up in  Utopia, Texas.

The next day:  Calls from Georgia, Virginia, Colorado: Do you need me to come? Come stay with us.  I don't like living so far apart.  Jan and Freda and Cecelia took great care of me and Luci, doing all the things I couldn't yet manage. 

So this summer, in addition to two very pleasurable trips, one to Colorado, one to Georgia, I've fallen flat on my face in Albuquerque, had to move out for a power outage, and discovered what people mean when they say their backs are "out."  I"m moving gingerly, but planning--as soon as I'm up and about better--to create a Go Bag to be prepared for the next time, if there is one. Here's my list so far of what goes in it: 

A fast phone charger

A list of people to call or text

Password to phone--if you have one.  (I don't).

Copies of insurance card and ID

List of prescriptions.

A change of clothes, underwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. 

Two or three books and a good pen

Non-slip socks

In my case, a note that I have an embedded  neuro-stimulator and controller--in case imaging has to be done and the stem needs shutting down.

Hand lotion. 

Laptop or iPad and charger.

A can of Diet Coke

Some snacks

Back home in Texas

Luci stayed home with her new friend Jules this week, visiting occasionally with Jan and George and Carma. 

Some days Jules took Luci to visit her parents and their three dogs.  One night she went to game night with her and her friends.

Meanwhile, Bob and Jocelyn and Carlene and I had wonderful 101st birthday celebration.  We walked the Lloyd Harris trail on her actual birthday--though she and Bob did most of the actual walking.  

Carlene went with me to find a house for my next and longer stay--and I'm excited about having them all over in "my house" between October 19th and November 6th.

Meanwhile: today on Jan's birthday, our entire street was engaged in hauling off downed trees from last night's storm and returning to their houses without power.  I lost a hefty chunk of my pecan tree, Jan lost two--one of which blocked the street until our neighbors called in some help, and Curran had the most damage to his house and roof.

Almost everyone I know was affected, all but Freda--and her daughter was.  

Refrigerated food and frozen foods had to be given away or disposed of.  

SO I have moved out to Will's house--the one he has for sale.  I had a long luxurious bath and am watching The Airport Chaplain on my working computer!

101st!

 I am loving spending time with family all celebrating our mama's 101st birthday!  

Bob and Jocelyn put together a small pretty party in a private dining room at Presbyterian Village.  This year there were only seven of us--seems like just a few minutes ago we were celebrating her 100th!

Here, you can see the backdrop and balloons and flowers--and you can tell she's loving it!

                                                      Linda, Jocelyn, Bob, Micah, and Rose....

She took those candles on the cake 1 and 0 and 9--and rearranged them to spell 110--said we could use the same candles at her 110th birthday in nine years!

The times, they are a'changing!

This is me in 1973 about to take a spin on my motorcycle, with Baby Day on her three wheeler. 

Tony our dog will sit beside Day while her parents ride around the track. 

This is when we lived in the house I found at the laundromat--with 65 acres and one stone cottage atop Beckmann Hill.

Now here I am riding a scooter!  (No photos yet on that front)

How did we get here so fast?

Anne Lamott always says it just right!

 https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CCmW1covd/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Departure Eve

 So the little baby of Emma and Connor--Gus--was born two days ago in Austin.  Almost seven pounds, he's already a handsome little guy.

Emma sent us shower hosts each a goddess.  My pink one is now hanging happily over my sink.  

It was a uniquely wonderful experience to have lunch with three generations of women.  I think we should all seek out more opportunities to spend time with older and younger friends!  When like-minded women of all ages get together, the vibrant spirit of the goddess shows up to play! 

Carlene's 101st birthday is already on GO!  She had lunch with her friend Cathy in the dining room yesterday--the same Cathy who hosted a party in her home for her last year.  

My Uber is coming at 12 noon tomorrow for a 2:00 flight,  Then I'l fly to Atlanta, get an UBER or the shuttle to Athens, and with Bob and Jocelyn leading the way, I'll drive to my Air BnB.  

Meanwhile I have been pursuing my pocket book hobby today.  Went to North Star mall today to get Elena a red pocketbook for her first day at Durango High School--whose colors are red and white. 

Carlene once called me the bag lady--due to my penchant for pocketbooks (aka handbags and purses) --as well as tote bags,  back packs, and bag by any other name. 

Most of us women love containers--bags and bowls and baskets.  I hadn't been to the mall in ages, and what did I look at most: huge arrays of bags in all colors.  I got myself a cute little turquoise Consuela while I was there.

Speaking of Consuela: I remember when she was selling her bags at a crafts fair in Boerne.  Now she is a big name world wide.  She's also now partnering with James Avery and designing all their colorful enameled charms. 

My blue suitcase is open and packed on the living room floor.  Luci alternates between getting IN the suitcase ("Don't you dare forget me!") and walking around sighing and staring and looking as glum as possible.   She definitely knows something's up. 

Yesterday we had a baby shower for Emma, Kate's oldest granddaughter--who's just a few weeks away from bringing her sweet baby boy into the world.

What a pleasure it was for us five grandmothers and three young women to enjoy champagne brunch at Silo's and share in the joy of the upcoming reveal of Emma and Connor's son!

Kate and Lisa and Emma--a tribe of three fiercely loving and nurturing goddesses mamas!  

This lovely dress was made for Emma by Janet,
the sewist in our tribe!

Beautiful Emma and Baby Boy Bump are rocking this polka dot dress! 

Happy 24th Birthday TODAY to the glowing Emma! 

Ink

Back when we were newlyweds, we lived in a second floor apartment on Mulberry Street, a few houses from San Pedro. We had no TV, no radio (except in the car) and no telephone.  We were, you might say, poor as all get-out.

One day a red-faced encyclopedia salesman knocked on our door, huffing and puffing from the one flight of stairs.  It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, Mark was painting, I studying for a test in Texas History. 

After he caught his breath and drank some iced tea, he proceeded to set up his display of books for us to peruse.  I was particularly fascinated by the volume on the human body: plastic pages overlaying each other, each with a system of the body--muscles, bones, circulatory system, etc. 

He could tell we were interested, but he probably knew what we knew: that we wouldn't be a sale.  

But he kept up his spiel.  $19 a month for all these books?  How could we not buy?  

He had this mantra: "All you're paying for is ink, string, paper, and glue."

On the 17th time or so, it was all we could do not to laugh.  He was our entertainment for the day!

There's so much more to books than ink, string, paper and glue, of course.  Behind every subject are historians and scientists and all kinds of experts who'd devoted years to scholarly research.  Reductionist as it was, his phrase will remain in my mind as long as memory lasts. 

I thought of it this morning when I popped into an antiques store and spied a set of two ink bottles with racks for fountain pens.  HAD to have it! 

At the checkout counter, four of us of a certain age talked about memories of writing with ink back in the day-- Schaeffer's fountain pens with cartridges taking us through math, penmanship, spelling tests, even math. .

I recently gave Will a handmade journal with a leather cover that I'd made--along with a fountain pen.  He talks about how it slows him down when he writes early every morning. 

Writing with ink slows me down too.  It makes writing feel more intentional, almost meditative. 

"Remember how the middle finger was always stained by the leaky cartridges?" asked a woman about my age.

"Remember writing lines with those pens?" another asked.  We discovered that in spite of growing up states  apart, we were all subjected to writing "lines" as punishment!  

A strange and sweet man who works there (I've rarely been there when he wasn't there, seated on the same stool, talking amiably in his high-pitched voice)  said he was before our time.  "We always used these ink wells!" he said.  "That was before cartridges were even invented!" 

Funny what things evoke nostalgia.  Lessons in penmanship and leaky cartridges and dipping pens in wells of ink! 

Today was another remarkable gift of high energy and lower-than-usual pain in my feet and legs!  Hooray!

Luci and I went to Trader Joe's AND Central Market and got ingredients for a corn and black bean salad that is my all-time favorite! I've had this recipe for years but it makes enough for an army, so I hadn't made it in a long time.   I'm currently recovering from all that chopping and standing, but I'm also wolfing down a bowlful of it. 

Here's the recipe if you want a delicious and refreshing salad for these summer days.

Southwest Salad

2 cups dried black beans

2 cups corn

2-3 medium sized cloves of garlic, freshly minced

A heaping 1.2 cup of finely minced red  pepper

1 medium sized red onion minced

1 t. Salt

1/2 cup olive oil (plus 1-2 T for the tortillas)

1/2 cup fresh lime juice

2-3  t. whole cumin seeds roasted in cast iron pan

1/2 cup minced cilantro

1/2 cup minced parsley

1 t. Crushed red pepper 

Finely ground black pepper

3-4 corn tortillas. 

1. Soak the beans overnight. Or at least 4 hours. Drain. Place in a kettle of fresh water. Bring JUST to a boil, then cover and turn heat way down.
2. Cook at a very slow simmer with no agitation in the water until the beans are tender, about 1 1/4 or 1 and a half hours. When cooked drain and rinse thoroughly in cold water. Then drain again.
3. IN a large bowl combine beans, cooked corn, minced garlic, red onion, bell pepper, salt, and olive oil and lime juice.
4. Roast the cumin seeds and stir, then put them in the salad—along with cilantro, parsley, crushed red pepper and black pepper.  Mix gently.
5. Lightly brush both sides of each tortilla and cut into strips about 1.4 inch wide and 1 1/2 inches long. Toast them lightly in a pan or a 350 oven. Scatter over the salad when you serve it.  

*******

Also signed up for another session of Lyn Belisle's class on making reliquaries.  Another fabulous multi-hour class for under $30--I'm watching it tonight and collecting relics and pictures to incorporate.  Lyn is an extraordinarily skilled and generous teacher. 

Lyn's classes

*******

Day wants a James Avery charm bracelet for her birthday.  While I was choosing charms for her, I decided I want one too--and my mama is giving me some birthday money to choose charm!  I'm going with mostly hearts and flowers, but I also want a red pick up truck to remind me of my daddy's.  

It occurred to me that charm bracelets, too, are reliquaries, a collection of charms that reflect our interests!

******

Finally capped off a good day with my refrigerator filled with healthy fruits and vegetables arranged in tidy glass containers.  This may be normal for most of you; for me, it's a very happy novelty.  While eating my salad, Nellie and I had a wonderful conversation about art and Lyn's classes, which we are both taking. We decided that if we keep making things we can avoid being fearful about the state of the country. 

It is so deliciously satisfying to have Nellie as a friend.  We share so many similarities it's kind of eerie!  1. We both went to Michael's and Trader Joes today and 2. We both stay up way past midnight every night.!We were just a smidge older than Elena when we met--and we're way better friends today than we were back then!  When we were teenagers we were fifty-piece jigsaw puzzles, now we're thousand pieces each. 

I'm walking around singing Mares-Eat-Oats and Does-Eat Dotes--and Luci thinks I might have misplaced my brain! 

The Gospel According To Nellie and Linda; Make things every day and stay away from fear! 

Love is in the Air

 

This is what I woke up to--Marcus and Lucia flying to Spain to Meet The Parents!  

Marcus interviewed outstanding VCU athletes for his podcast and one of his interviewees was this adorable girl from Spain, a star basketball player.  The rest is--as we say--history!

As you can tell, they are both smitten.  Day sent Luci a picture of flowers and she wrote back, "Beautiful, but not as beautiful as your son." 

My family has been all over the map this summer.  Day and Tom went to Copenhagen (Tom travels a lot internationally for work, but this was the first time Day accompanied him), then they took Marcus and Jackson and Deanna to Ireland (Lucia was in Spain and couldn't go) for two weeks.  In Donegal, Tom found so many of his ancestors on the McDonald side and they were warmly greeted by everyone.  They loved Ireland (and Irish storytellers and musicians) so much they want to go back and spend the summer next year. 

Will's family of four went to Costa Rica for a week, then came back and rented a house in Durango for a month--a week of which I got to join them.  They are totally in love with Colorado and Durango in particular. As of a week ago, Will and Bonnie and Elena live there!  Yesterday I got a virtual tour of the house they are renting for the year--they like it so much that they'll consider buying it after their San Antonio house sells.  

I drove to Colorado, had an amazing week, then flew back.  Next up is a trip to Georgia later this month to celebrate Carlene's 101st birthday!  

Soon thereafter, a trip to Virginia is due--There's a girl there I want to meet! 

 After a lengthy absence, "my" birds are back!  They are not mine, of course--they belong to themselves and the air--but they give such color and joy to my back yard.  Finches, cardinals and doves mostly.  

Today I will fill two hummingbird feeders.  Joy gave me her recipe, said she keeps her filled year-round.  Their feeders need to be carefully cleaned every two or three days. "Hummers are delicate and fierce," she wrote.  

I've spent this week helping Elena pack up her room.  They will be moving tomorrow!  

I'm pausing here because I can't yet quite give words to my range of feelings on that subject--except to say I am thrilled for them and I will miss their closeness so much, geographical and otherwise.  

What do YOU brake for?

A friend sent me this poem this morning, from a Bella Grace magazine.  It inspired me and thought it might inspire you to think of things you brake for!

I spent the morning with Jett, a computer science major at UT, who lives on my block  He fixed my computer so that I can now post pictures, so I'm going to give it a try.  The error had something to do with cookies.

I spent yesterday at the Pritchett house and will go again later today for dinner.  Then probably again tomorrow--as they are actually moving to Colorado on Thursday.

A reminder: Joy's show is still up at Mockingbird Handprints--just in case you missed the opening and would like to see her work on display.  It's a beautiful show!

Day and her family are enjoying their trip to Ireland, and Will and his family are selling and giving away things (and returning to me some furniture I gave them) so that they can travel light to their new home in Durango.  

Yesterday Elena was feeling a little sad.  "I need to play the guitar, then I'll feel better," she said.  So she and her dad sat down and played and sang for a while and she was right--it perked her right up.

She loves music and plans to take classes at a music school she's found in Durango.  

Here are a couple of photos from the week I spent there with them;

One of her rodeo events in Durango this summer

Jan and I have another thing in common: Kate and her boys are moving on the same day the Pritchetts are moving.  Her husband Lee has already begun his new job in Albuquerque and Kate and the boys will finally get to join him--they were waiting for Sebastien to graduate high school.  

SO Jan and I are lucky to have each other as we see the last of our families move away from San Antonio.  So far, I've only gotten teary once--watching my girl play my daddy's guitar and remembering so many happy memories of these almost fifteen years of her life!  I'm going to miss them like crazy--but I'm also thrilled that they are following their dream to relocate to Colorado, their happy place. 

This week,  the Universe gave me a bounty of good things.  

1. With the help of the Scooter Lady Cayce in Tennessee, I finally got my pretty blue Voyager to start up. I was riding back and forth in my small kitchen and called Carlene.  "I wanted you to be the first person I'd call on my scooter,"  I said.  She is guaranteed to, invariably, share in whatever I'm excited about, commending me for making such a wise decision.   When we tell each other something we're happy about or proud of, we sometimes say, "I just wanted someone to saw A-WOOO!"  

2. After way too long, I finally go to visit with Chris, my delightful friend who lives in Kerrville.  We each took a few things for "show and tell"--she some beautiful collages built around dream fragments, me with five blank handmade books. I drove home inspired and hoping for some longer visits after we both do our August trips. 

3. Last night I took my first scoot, Luci leashed beside me, Carma and Jan behind us.   Jan was so excited about my wheels you'd have thought it was a Porsche. "It's Luci who. needs training, not you," she said.  Luci's accustomed to stopping to pee and sniff and negotiate different turns than I had in mind.  I need to train her to walk beside me and announce when she's about to stop. 

4. I went to Williams Sonoma and met my (I hope) forever pet sitter, Jules. When she saw Luci, she squatted with the ease young women have, all the way to the floor in high heels, to pet and converse with Luci.  When she asked if I ever needed someone to keep Luci, I took her number, and canceled the Rover sitter for August.  Her other job, besides WS, is in the Frost Bank Building a stone's throw from my house, and it's pet friendly. She'll stay in my house and take Luci to work with her where she'll get to commune with other small dogs. 

5. Lorraine recommended a novel and I stayed up very late reading it.  Excellent writing, engaging story.  Midway, I almost quit because I found the main male character wimpy and I dislike wimpy men.  We talked about it as I shopped for fruits in Whole Foods, then I went home and read it all the way to the end and was glad I'd stayed with it.   Leaving is by Roxanne Robinson. 

6. When my favorite Mexican restaurant, Adalantes, closed a couple of years ago--after 40 plus years, I missed it, especially their Santa Fe tacos which are really quesadillas. I ordered that dish almost every time.  I was lucky--the menu was online!  I'd struck gold. It's a mix of zucchini, green onions, corn, poblano peppers, and Monterray Jack cheese grilled between two large whole wheat tortillas.

7. Central Market has been under renovation for at least a year, with a year to go.  But I went there to get my ingredients this morning, it was so much fun to see what they've done with it.   Just being there can instantly make me happy.

8. Before Central Market and after Walgreens, I popped into The Green Door thrift store.  Just bought one thing--a beautiful art book called Alphonse Mucha, Masterworks.  From cover to cover, it's luscious. 

In the future, I'm going to try to cool my jets few days before writing about a new idea.  

Writing mirrors myself back to myself in ways that are often embarrassing and just as often illuminating. For example;

My last posts on plastic, now deleted, reveal to myself how easily I get seduced into a new idea and run to my secular pulpit with it.  

With so many troubling issues in the world, it's easy to latch on to the latest way to save--myself, the planet, my beloved children and grands--and then run with it.  I am easily seduced. Easily frightened for the next generation.  That's kind of sweet and endearing.  It's also kind of humiliating to realize how little a woman of my age can actually do. 

Not that it's not worthy of  concern--it is.  I did make a few simple changes that will be healthy for me personally.  Like returning to brewing tea instead of buying it in plastic jugs.  And ditching my peeling Teflon frying pan and buying one not coated in petrochemical stuff I can't even pronounce. 

But as for the 101 things I can do, the ones I read about, I'm just not going to live long enough to do all of them, that's a fact.  If I were a young mother with little bitty children, that would be a way different story. 

Once upon a time, I figured my grandchildren would cherish my advice and wisdom.  I would inculcate in them a desire to read many books.  I would steer them away from smart phones and social media and anything else I might find harmful.  

As time wore on, I realized how little power I had, how little younger people coveted a piece of my wisdom.  I'd had my chance as a parent; my turn was over.