I've not been writing for two weeks--because I've been totally present in the happy two weeks of having Carlene here.
Just about every day, she went with me to one of my various therapies. We spent lots of time with Will and family and took Elena to the zoo on Wednesday. Friends invited us over or stopped by and visited, and we had some great conversations. Carlene bought me a pretty rug for the porch and gave me a starter check for a project I'm working on.
It seems that life rolls along without any drama for long stretches, then suddenly a few life dramas pop up at once. Carlene is a friend who's just as happy to go with me to appointments and figure out what do to to fix things as she is to go out to lunch or take a road trip. I am beyond lucky to have such a mother and friend rolled up in one!
Physical therapy, chiropractic work, doctor's appointments, various pills and supplements--it's all part of the journey. On Tuesday, I finally went to Emily Oliver--whom I should have gone to at the beginning--and I am starting to notice huge improvements.
I wonder: why is it sometimes that the first choice, the obvious choice, is not where we go first? It may be that we have to go through some detours to get to the solution that works--just as we sometimes have to drive for miles to find out that the treasure we're looking for is right in our own back yard. The driving and searching isn't wasted--it's part of the bigger trip we're on, full of new insights and new friendships, all part of the big picture, all part of the solution we're after. Every thing I've done, every doctor I've seen, has given me a valuable piece of the puzzle.
Emily is a chiropractor who years ago fixed my frozen shoulder in one treatment. When these health challenges all started appearing at once, I went the traditional route--one thing leading to another. Then--frustrated by the fact that nothing was making a lasting difference--I went to see Emily and the next day was able to walk through the zoo without any pain at all and to drive for a whole hour with no leg pain. I hesitate to say I'm all better--but I feel like I'm so close I can go ahead and feel giddy about it.
Emily called yesterday to check on me (what doctor does that?) and I made a second appointment for next week--because she believes that she can get me to squatting--"like your beautiful mother" --and I wouldn't put anything past Emily.
The first day after Carlene leaves is always a funky day for both of us. We both live alone and both enjoy our solitude, but when we're together for two weeks, it takes time to get back to living and eating alone. I cried all the way home from the airport, then slept the rest of the morning, then woke up and cried some more. Kate came by because she knew I'd be feeling sad--and that helped so much.
Went to bed early, then woke up and found some just-right emails in my inbox.
While I don't always believe in deities by their traditional names, whatever it is that I do believe in acts exactly like the God I grew up hearing about at home and at church:
Just when you think you've made a terrible mistake, someone says just what you need to hear to assure you that you're still okay, just the way you are, and that most "mistakes" are fixable. And that even if you did do something awful from one person's point of view, it's usually not intended as such.
Just when you think you're at the end of one rope, you find that it's connected to the right rope.
Just when you put a question out to the universe, a friend stops by and supplies the answer you were seeking, or you get an email, or someone calls--and you say WOW! Really? What perfect timing!
And if you have a mother like Carlene, you learn and re-learn that "everything is tuition." Sometimes you have to spend money or time or energy figuring out what the lesson is, but you go through life knowing that the lesson is in there somewhere.
I think about the story of the two brothers who were led out to the barn on Christmas morning. One said, "Oh, just as I thought--nothing!" The other said, "But the barn is filled with shit--there must be a pony in here somewhere!"
The world is full of ponies. Some are right out in the open, some require a little poking around to find.
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