November, Here You Come

What a Halloween I've had--a morning call from Jocelyn, an amazing-as-always Cecelia massage followed by a lunch at my favorite (and pet friendly) Thai place where Belle and Kitty bring aprons for Luci to sit on while they kneel down all the way to the floor and speak softly to her: "Concrete floor is too cold and hard for our Luci, need something soft and warm." 

Then a long afternoon nap, a phone call with Carlene, a snuggle with my Trickster dog, three trick-or-treaters (I hope those snack-sized Snickers I found in the pantry were not stale!), a  trip to an actual mall for the first time since pre-Covid, and a late night phone call from my all time favorite ex-boyfriend Mike who recommended a George Carlin video that made me laugh so hard Luci looked at me with genuine concern: "You've turned into somebody else or what?"  

Jon Stewart, former host of The Daily Show, was the emcee of Forty Years of George Carlin.  I rarely like stand-up, but these guys take comedy into a whole other place, an irreverent blend of jazz, truth telling, philosophy and drama. 

So now it's time to wind down and wake up to November.  It's already out there, my phone tells me, gonna be 39 at sunrise.  

Where's Waldo? And what's up, Bersatto?

 

Jackson, at 22, posing as Waldo, is easy to spot in Richmond, Virginia.

Marcus, whose favorite holiday has always been Halloween,  is Carmen Berzatto, the brilliant chef of the 2022 movie, The Bear.

Homecoming to a cold front

Flying into Texas yesterday, 

Luci in her carrier stuffed under the seat, calm as could be, 

I wanted to stay suspended above the thick white blanket of clouds a little longer. 

Leaving is always sad.  When Day was a two-year-old--crying when Nana and Granddaddy left, she said, "I got dirty water in my eyes." 

Day arrived on Thursday and we shared a ride to the Atlanta Airport yesterday, so it was a double whammy, tears in Lawrenceville, then again in Atlanta. 

I'm still not ready to land, but here I am, met by cold weather and a too-quiet house, feeling blue and lonesome and not entirely at home yet. 

Day drove us to Elijay on Sunday, one of our favorite mountain towns.  We had pizza in a little Italian cafe there, one we discovered on our last threesome retreat in the North Georgia mountains two years ago.

On Saturday, we visited Carlene's sister Dot in Warner Robins in her new assisted living apartment.  I'd planned to leave Luci for the day with a young woman I'd met on Rover.com....

Carlene and I drove there, planning to pick up Day and go to Starbucks, then on to see Dot.

I met the woman, walked up a flight of stairs, down another,  and took some convoluted path to her basement apartment.  I hoped Luci would be okay with the other three dogs and the stranger, but didn't feel entirely comfortable. 

By the time I'd gotten back to the car, started it, and set my GPS for home, I saw the woman in the parking lot waving her arms and calling Luci. I was horrified that she was alone in a large parking lot and already lost to the woman I'd trusted to keep her for twelve hours!

"She's in your car!" the woman shouted.

Sure enough, and unbeknownst to me until that moment, Luci has a super power: she can turn invisible.  She had somehow scooted out of the stranger's apartment, taken a different route, and jumped into the car without either of us even seeing her!

How had I not seen her fly into the car when I opened the door?   She's tiny, very fast when she wants to be, and stubbornly loyal.  Long story short, it was the four of us who visited Dot that day. 

We enjoyed seeing Dot in her new space and seeing how much she loves it there. Though she's six years younger than Carlene, she acted like the big sister, sternly cautioning Carlene to use her cane all the time.  "I see it every day," she said, "And I can't stand the thought of you falling."

Neither can I. 

Luci and I want our whole pack together, everybody safe. 

Back Where I Was Born

Athens, Georgia

Photos mostly by Bob Harris

Trials and Trails

We all know our own quirky stoves and faucets and kitchen appliances. I know, for instance, that if you turn on the hot water in my kitchen it takes a full minute to heat up, then it gets scorching hot fast.  

Last night Carlene and I went to Walmart to get three of the mini-Bundt cake pans I use at home, along with cream, butter,  eggs and candles.  While there, Carlene and I got separated for a long hour in the huge store filled with crying kids and babies.  She didn't have her phone, so we both walked miles of aisles looking for each other.  I asked a nice couple to help me look for her, and we were finally relieved to be reunited.

So this morning the butter was soft and the eggs room temperature and I set out to make three little birthday cakes for Jocelyn.  After putting them into the oven and walking Luci, I came home to  the distinctive smell of cake batter burning. Three cakes were running over the rims onto the bottom of the oven.  

I quickly poured the wet batter into the trash and vowed to avoid cooking in anyone else's kitchen.  

Otherwise, we had a beautiful day.  We went to the Harris Greenway Trails, named for my daddy.  It was packed with people walking, riding bikes, and playing games.  Bob said it is the most used park in the state of Georgia.  There could be no better legacy for a man who spent his career as a soil conservationist planting trees and planning parks for recreation. 

Quilts for a Suffering World

 On the last day before Luci and I flew to Georgia, Jan took me to her church, Christ Lutheran, to see some of the quilts made by the women of the church.  Every one was beautiful, and I wished that many more people had been there for the silent auction on these works of art!

Today all the quilts were displayed on the pews of the church before they are sent to people in need all over the world.  Hours and hours went into the construction of these quilts and the women will then start over for next year's quilt show.

Jan said it best in a letter of appreciation to the quilters:

"These kind and thoughtful ladies sew love into every stitch, they spend hours together and hours at home making these colorful masterpieces that will go to sisters and brothers around the world who are suffering – from war, poverty, natural disasters, and other casualties of life.  For many years, quilts from the hands of these CLCAH servants have brought joy, hope, warmth and love to the hearts, minds, and bodies of their recipients."

I only saw and bid on two small quilts, but look at the ones being sent to people in need.  It's an awesome project, a collective work of love, a collective work of art. 

Under-Standing

Once upon a time in writing group, Kate introduced Cecelia as "everybody's fairy godmother."  Kate was right. After a long absence, going from doctor to doctor, therapist to therapist, I have returned to Fairy Godmother Cecelia.  She's more than a massage therapist; she's a teacher.  "Bodies talk to me," she said.

Not only is her work helping my neuropathy, but she considers the whole body and mind. Today she asked me three key questions, all with a foot-related issue:What am I not understanding?  In what ways do I not stand up for myself?  What can I not stand?

On the scale of woo-woo, Cecelia is about as far to the high end as it gets. I'm re-finding advantages to unconventional ways of dealing with pain.  

Astrology, trusting one's own guidance, palm reading, meditating, mysticism, finding out what we're here for "in our wisdom years"--these may or may not speak to you, but some of these supernatural pathways may be just what the doctor ordered--though a real doc might look at them with raised eyebrows. 

Scar tissue and neuropathy are real, as are cancer, arthritis, and all the ailments that befall humans.  But the medical community's job is to provide relief (usually with pharmaceuticals), not overall healing.  Maybe, according to woo-woo thinking, the pain has shown up "to show us something" about ourselves.  

Folk and herbal remedies can go a long way toward healing the body and mind.  From here on out, having tried every conventional therapy I know of, I'm putting all my eggs in the basket of the Fairy Godmother! 

The following is related, but I'll save the thread that connects them for another post--when I don't have an Uber coming before the crack of dawn:

Just last night I watched Season 2 of World on Fire (PBS).  

Sir James, who's staying in Robina's house during the war, asks her to marry him.  They are both in their sixties, very strong-willed and attractive people for whom responsibility seems a higher currency than happiness. While it's clear that she has feelings for him, she refuses his proposal.

James: "I think you're afraid to be happy."

Robina: "But I have to choose between my happiness and my greater responsibilities."

This is the take away line, spoken by Sir James: "Your happiness IS your greatest responsibility."

I offer you this line as a ponderable! 

"Nature is Intelligent"

If you haven't watched it yet, check out Fantastic Fungi on Netflix, a beautifully made film about the health benefits of mushrooms.  Amazing time-lapse photography about fungi and what they do for us.  

Día de los Muertos--November 2

When I first moved to San Antonio in 1967, I was wide-eyed at the tradition of skeletons dressed up like brides and grooms, skeletons posed on porches. I thought it was creepy. 

Since then, I've learned a lot more about the tradition and I think it's wonderful.  Today I'm making my first día de los Meuertos altar.

The first step has taken most of the day--gathering pictures of loved ones no longer physically present. 

It all started with my daddy's watch.  Then I found lots of pictures of him throughout his life, pictures of his parents (Mama Jim and Daddy Jim) and his four siblings.  Bob sent me this photo of my daddy's mother, the grandmother I knew less well than Mimi.  She had five children and died in her sixties when I was 12. 

Rose Harris

My nephew Canaan, who died of a very aggressive cancer on March 13th this year, was a pastor in Colorado, a husband, and father of two.   Here he is at Nana and Granddaddy's the year I made clown costumes for all the cousins.  

Others will join these: my friend Gary who died ten years ago; two daughters of two of my closest friends, both of whom died three years ago;  Mary Frances Weathersby, a vibrant yoga teacher and friend for many years; my mother's three brothers and my daddy's four siblings; my great-grandmother Cana so beloved by Carlene, though she died before I was born.

Altars also include items enjoyed by the deceased loved ones--fruit, candy, ornaments, jewelry, books, poems, teddy bears, etc. 

I've included a beautiful red wooden heart covered with Milagros--a birthday present from Charlotte; a garland of orange paper flowers from Mary Locke; an orange ceramic pumpkin and candles and a garland of orange flowers.

The final piece is a strand of twinkly lights or candles, reminders of the lights of friends and family members.

October 15th

My birthday week has been great!

Starting with the coast trip, staying with two of my oldest and dearest friends in Mary Locke's beach house. 

Continuing with dinner at PF Chang's with Carolyn whom I've known and loved since we were SAC faculty wives in the early 70s. 

Watching the eclipse with Kate and Charlotte before going to a wonderful Italian "hole in the wall" cafe called La Sorrenta.  (Charlotte prefers no pictures-- it's hard for me to resist, but I do.) 

Kate and her son, Jakey
with shadows of the eclipse on his green shirt.

The grand finale tonight: Jan hosting Pam and L'Indy and me for a knock-your-socks-off shrimp dish, along with fruit tart and asparagus with pesto

L'Indy (Linda from Indiana)
and Luci

Pam admiring Jan's table
and flowers from Lorraine

Jan is "the hostess with the mostest" 
 who knows how to put together 
a memorable party!

Delivering a birthday tart
with only one candle, enough
to make lots of wishes on.

So happyand grateful
for ALL of you (here and far away)
 who have made Turning 75 so much fun! 

***

       Today is Day's 53rd birthday.  On my 23rd birthday I was in labor all day, but she held off showing up until after midnight so she'd have a birthday of her own, evidence of her independent spirit from day one.

     After a weekend in Richmond with the boys, she and Tom celebrated tonight watching a Buffalo Bill's game and drinking mocktails. 

Two pictures from her first few months as a little "You are my sunshine" Texas girl...

Lloyd and Carlene's first grandchild--
when we lived on Beckmann Hill in Helotes

Online Mixed Media Classes

I have given myself my favorite sort of birthday present--splurging on six online art classes.  Over the past four years or so, I find that I love taking classes at my own pace far more than in person classes.  

The first one Pam and I are both taking: Wanderlust led by a teacher from Poland who invites a variety of teachers from all over the world to present a weekly class.  We've both signed up for Wanderlust in past years, then we took a break, but neither of us could resist the early-bird special for 2024. 

Similar in structure is one called Art is Magic.  I'm hoping to learn a few things from it, but my first few classes were disappointing, probably because I've had similar classes before and the teaching is spotty. 

Anything San Antonio artist Lyn Belisle teaches is stellar!  She offers a variety of collage and encaustics classes on her website and I've never been disappointed. My favorite is Postcards to Myself--which I used to make six collages for Carlene a couple of years ago, all incorporating old family photos. 

The Handmade Book Club--while I'm taking a break from membership for a bit--offers a quarterly Five-Day Challenge for practically no cost, $5 this year, for five days of instructions on a single binding technique.  It runs the gamut from complex leather-covered books to simpler book constructions.  Ali Manning is an excellent teacher--as are her guest artists--and she's an expert in the history of different papers and designs. 

I'm loving the Gel Print Summit hosted by Drew Steinbrecher.  Fourteen gel print artists offer classes in a variety of things that can be done with gel plate mono printing--including image transfer and geo-printing (using actual twigs and leaves and flowers).  Along with Ali's and Lyn's, these are the most professionally organized and interesting classes I've  taken.  Most of the teachers are from Australia, the Netherlands, and England. (There's not a dud in the bunch!) 

Not only are the fourteen classes worthy of several views, but if you follow the trail of each teacher to his or her website, you can find links to other online workshops. I've signed up for cyanotypes and "Beyond the Basics of Gel Printing" by two of the best teachers at the summit. 

I cannot describe how thrilling it is to have all this learning and playing to look forward to for the upcoming year and beyond.  It's like opening a present every day.

If anyone is interested in more details, just let me know and I'll send links.  

Who are you, really?

Pam sent me this wonderful message, a poem posted on Jane Dunnewold's blog, and I want to share it with you all...As we grow older, we all have a "litany of losses" but something essential remains.

a poem from Rosemerry Whatola Trommer. ​ Losing It It was a tiny percentage, I knew, but still there was some French royalty somewhere in my blood. I would spend hours imagining myself in my proper place: in a long pink dress ​ and thin gold crown in a castle on a green hillside, doing needlepoint, no doubt, and nibbling bon bons, and so when I again asked my mother to tell me about that part of our heritage, she told me, ​ It’s so little blood, and you’ve had so many skinned knees, I’m pretty sure you’ve bled it all out by now. And I was instantly less grandiose. That was, perhaps, the first identity ​ that I was aware of losing. But soon after that, I was no longer blonde. And soon after that, I no longer lived in Wisconsin. And soon after that, I was no longer a Scout. Everything I thought ​ I knew about myself didn’t last. Ah, the litany of losses. Those notions of who we are, how they shed, they spill, they slip off. As they’re lost, we usually rush to replace them. ​ I became worker. Lover. Parent. Friend. We wear them so close, these identities, that we no longer see them as separate. We think they’re who we are. But what if we skinned ​ not just our knees, but our thoughts, and let those roles escape? Who would be left to walk through the field this evening to see the double rainbow stretched across the east?​ ​

Camp Jannie

 

A great big thank you to Janet and Bill, Nani and Val, Molly and Mia, and the two cats--for taking such good care of Luci this weekend, as always!

Nani is their newest and fourth dog, the white puppy gazing at Luci.  Janet intended to foster her until her family came along, but Janet--being Janet--fell in love with her and decided to adopt her.

It's a big sprawling family but they have the yard for it--a beautiful expanse of plants and grass.  

Janet is a seamstress extraordinaire and she's going to be featuring three of her jackets at a fashion show on Saturday.  Everything she touches turns into something beautiful!

Foursome Friendship Turns Fifty

 

When we first met, the four of us (Mary Locke, Beverly, Sylvia and I) were all in our mid- to late-Twenties.  Three of us were married with children; one of us (Sylvia) still glamorously single.  We escorted each other into our Thirties, celebrating birthdays, marriages, travels, and....what Mary Locke calls "Life's Rich Pageant." 

I attended Sylvia's wedding party right across the street from where I now live--long before I had any way of knowing I'd ever live on Ogden Lane--and she lived upstairs in an apartment of what is now Jan's house next door! 

Throughout the decades, we have traveled to our various homelands and met each other's families.  We've been to lake houses, beach houses, Colorado, Cape Cod, and any place we considered a good setting for a retreat. Some of us have been to the weddings of some of our children.  After my divorce, we four went to the beach for a divorce retreat!  (Whoever heard of a divorce retreat? I think Beverly made it up....)

Beverly hosted my unforgettable fiftieth birthday at Port Aransas--where she and Larry were living at the time.  Some of us fondly remember a bit of midnight skinny dipping and some afternoon scarf dancing. 

Twenty five years and many retreats later, here we are on the beach at Port Aransas, staying at Mary Locke's beach house, eating a birthday cake Larry made for me, and waving scarves at sunset.

Years ago, Beverly and I wrote a book we called The Fabric of Friendship.  We included writings by all four of us--a sort of foursome memoir. While we never published it,  the assembling of it was a celebration of a friendship of four women.  One of Beverly's daughters, Whitney, on seeing one of Beverly's scrapbooks filled with pictures we'd taken of ourselves together, said, "Y'all sure must love yourselves!" 

We did.  We still do.

Three decades later, it seems fitting that three of the four of us are waving shimmery fabrics on the beach and letting the wind do what it wills. 

We didn't grow up together, but we all grew up in identical Baptist traditions.  While none of us are in the Baptist church anymore, we all still know all the words to all the same hymns.  We all know the same stories we were steeped in as girls.  Mary Locke--who like me is a kind of spiritual mutt--still wants "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" played at her funeral. 

Now here we are, one already 80, the other three at the octogenarian door.  My gratitude for a friendship of such length and depth is immeasurable!  

Mary Locke and Beverly walking on the beach

Beverly

Mary Locke and me

Mary Locke dancing without music

(Sylvia's not in these pictures.  She was unable to join us because she and Peter had a trip planned--which didn't actually happen because Peter got Covid.  The three of them had a September retreat while I was in Virginia.)

Ten Feel Goods

1. 

Playing the New York Times word games every day and "not stopping til you reach genius on Spelling Bee"--a goal I borrowed from Janet.  Some days are easier than others.  Monday and Tuesday this week were buggers!  But today they lightened up on us players and made it easy peasy.  It feels really good--if not entirely accurate--to be called "genius" first thing in the morning.

2.

Going to a nail salon, store, or a favorite restaurant where Luci is welcomed.  Since she's almost always with me in the car, I don't have to drive her home if I get a sudden urge to have lunch or get a pedicure.

3. 

Watching "Dear Edward" (Apple TV) while cutting up papers for the Five Day Book Challenge. Charlotte gave me a gift last year--a whole package of beautiful paper placemats, too pretty to lay under drippy foods and drinks.  I've been saving it for a book project, and the Five Day Challenge is shaping up with paper placemats. 

4. 

Packing for a retreat at the coast with friends I've known and loved for fifty years.  We're taking not only food and drinks but activities.  My part is to teach them to make a simple book out of file folders and collaged papers. 

5

Janet always being happy to see Luci show up at Camp Jannie while I'm gone.  

6.

Bypassing my usual frugality and signing up for five art online art classes, most of which stretch out throughout the year. (1) Wanderlust--a yearlong class with a variety of teachers.  (2) Art is Magic--similar to Wanderlust, different artists. (3) Gel Printing Summit (4) A collage class with Lyn Belisle. And (5) The Handmade Book Club. 

7.

Planning a trip to Georgia with Day to celebrate her 53rd, my 75th--bathing ourselves in fall foliage in the North Georgia mountains. 

8.

Luci crawling under the covers when I watch movies in bed.  The feel of her soft fur against my legs.   Just knowing she's there, all that furry sweetness!

9.

Getting back, slowly, to book making.  It's fascinating to learn different structures--accordion books, coptic and other methods of sewing signatures together, round books, altering vintage books, etc.

10.

A surprise delivered by mail--even if I ordered it myself and forgot.  

The first week of October

I've been having a mostly zip-a-dee-doo-dah week.  Lots of things are going my way....

(Knock on wood, please)

A big chunk of the credit goes to Cecelia, dear friend and massage therapist since the 1980s.   She gave me an amazing massage for an early birthday present--what could be better?--and then suggested we try a machine  that works in subtle ways on the nerves to repair nerve damage.  She's been offering me this for months, but I have been skeptical and too preoccupied with other treatments to add one more. 

It's not a one and done kind of thing.  I've had three treatments so far and it seems to be making a difference--that along with physical therapy and dietary changes.  Who knows? But I'm giving it a go with a grateful heart!  For more hours than usual, my feet have been less grumpy today. 

Sometimes the solution to problems may be close to home all along.  

Luci agrees.  I've been trying out the best quality dog foods (the ones you have to order online), but she eats them grudgingly, reluctantly, without a smidge of joy.  Or she goes a couple of days without eating.   Ever since her second skunk encounter, her caloric intake has been even less than usual. 

While Jan and I were discussing this in her kitchen, we noticed Luci had scarfed up a whole bowl of Carma's kibble!  Not only did she eat it with gusto, but she held her head up and crunched each bite loudly, giving me a look of reproach: "See, Ma, this is what I like!  Why can't WE have good stuff like this at our house?"

Jan gave us a baggie to bring home.  So far, Luci has refused to touch the very same food in our house!  Some people might say--Jan (who loves her (actually did say), she's a "manipulative little bitch." (Too bad the English language has taken the word for female dogs as an unpleasant moniker for human women!) 

Next door's dining fare is always better than same ole, same ole in the regular old bowl at home. 

I canceled her veterinary appointment for tomorrow and have decided to just give it time.  She's fine--just picky.  We just took a walk in the wonderful rain and she seemed perky as ever. 

While I'm at the coast this weekend, she'll be at Camp Jannie's so she'll get to enjoy Other People's Food again for a few days.  And play with Bill and Janet and their four dogs.  I expect it will be a zip-a-dee-doo-dah weekend for my sweet little mutt.