Day of the Dead

Today is Dia de los Muertas--the Day of the Dead, a holiday celebrated in Mexico and other Latin American countries for thousands of years.  When I first moved to San Antonio, I loved the fiestas, piñatas, and foods from Latin American culture, but I found Dia de los Muertas rather morbid.

Sugar skulls and parades?  Altars in kitchens and storefronts? Skeletons dressed as brides and grooms?

In my culture, cemeteries are quiet with headstones and simple flowers, maybe a flag for veterans.  Back in the day, I'm told, when cemeteries were part of church grounds, people gathered to pull weeds around the grave and have picnics, but this tradition is going by the wayside in most places.

Cemeteries in San Antonio are--on this day--explosions of color.  Graves are covered with candy, teddy bears, beer cans, photographs, jewelry, and balloons, items that the dead loved in life.

I now see this day differently.  It's an extravagant celebration of the lives of deceased loved ones.  It springs from a belief that "the dead would be insulted by mourning or sadness."(National Geographic.)   On this day, the dead are depicted as awaking from their eternal sleep to share in celebrations of the living--to dance and eat and return to their own wedding days.

I thought of this tradition last night as I was trick-or-treating with Elena and her cousins.  "Always say thank you when someone gives you candy," I told Elena.

At the very next house, the giver of candy was dressed as a skeleton.  "I said thank you," Elena announced proudly.  "But he didn't say you're welcome.  I guess that's because he's dead."


*****

Kate and I got out early this morning to go to the San Fernando Cemetery to look at graves.  We took pictures, then we had huevos rancheros at Rocky's Tacos on Cupples Road--delicious. Right next door was the Bedoy Bakery where I bought a little sugar skull. The skulls, we were told, are not for eating, but if one breaks you can put it in your coffee.  I also bought a pan de huevo in memory of my daddy who loved these Mexican pastries.

A Sugar Skull on a grave

Mural at Rocky's Tacos

A Muertos Man: Bedoy Bakery

a sugar skull from Bedoy's

The dead may not say "You're welcome," but today could be a day to send "Thank you"s--for all the big footprints they left in our hearts.

What I'd give for even one more day with each of the people I love who are no longer a phone call away--especially my generous, wonderfully affectionate and always-smiling daddy.  Even after fourteen years of absence, he's very much alive to me.

In his fishing boat, Lake Lanier, about 20 years ago

On the porch of my "new" house--about 18 years ago--
a house that he and my mother bought me "for a Christmas present." 

Will and Granddaddy--when Will was a senior in high school
and Granddaddy his mentor and best pal.

Mimi and Papa (my mother's parents)  were married for seventy years;  Papa lived to 90, Mimi, 97....

With the oldest of their five children, Bob--
who died at the age of ten

Will and Mimi

One of my dearest friends ever, Gary Lane, was a teacher of mine in graduate school and an unforgettable friend for the rest of his life.  "It's a big world" was his mantra--never letting the little things bother him. This picture was taken the last year of his life, at the age of 69.