(5) Telling the Truth

Four years ago, a friend-at-the-time  told me that she had quit reading my blog. I wondered why she needed to announce it, why not just move on to something she liked better?

But more was to be revealed:  (1) my blog made her think I was "trying to be Paris Hilton or something,"and (2) telling too much about one's personal life "takes away your personal power,"and (3) my posts were just "too much" to read.

I had to look up Paris Hilton to find out who she thought I was trying to be. When I did,  I was reminded of the question I often heard in another chapter of my life: "Who do you think you ARE?" (Subtext: How dare you, an ordinary not-famous person, presume to think you have anything worth saying?)

My blog is random, scattered, all-over-the-place, and it lacks a unifying theme. (for which I'm not apologizing.) Though it started out, seven years ago, about traveling solo, it's not even about that anymore.

Writing is my way of being in the world.  I can't not do it. Even now that I'm timidly and gleefully putting my toes in the river of paint, writing is still my first creative love.  Many years ago, I gave myself a great big  permission slip to do it and so far, it hasn't managed to steal my personal power.

Over the years, I gave the same permission slips to college students, later to my writing group members. I'm still thrilled when I run into a former student in a store or get a note from a UTSA student or writing group member telling me, in various ways, "You made me love writing!"

That's what we teachers do.  We bring other people into what we love, and some of them find that it's as empowering (and worthy of love)  to them as it is to us.  We don't require celebrity status; in fact, we don't give a hoot about celebrity.

Just writing about teaching makes me miss it right now!

So this random scattered blog is my practice, like practicing scales on the piano or practicing yoga.  It's not about me telling "the" truth.  It's about mucking around in my mind until sometimes, if I'm lucky, my truth finds it way to the page in a few more or less coherent sentences.