Mumps or what?

I woke up this morning looking like a chipmunk.  I went to bed looking like I had an egg embedded in my neck.

It was puffy and painful, so I decided to drive over to the new ER clinic by the Quarry.  After a series of x-rays, I was relieved to learn that what I have is probably a stone or a block in the salivary glands, a condition called parotitis.

Who knew?  I didn't even know I had a parotid gland, and now one of the ones I do have is bloated and tender, and it hurts when I swallow, especially sour flavors.  Part of the cure is a round of antibiotics and pain pills.  Another is eating lemon drops to intentionally stimulate the pain I've been having--as a way of clearing the clogged gland.

In the meanwhile, I feel and look like I have the mumps.  They x-rayed everything from the chest to the face, and fortunately everything (lungs, heart, etc) looks normal.  The pain meds are making me sleepy--so I'm going to take a little nap until Mike arrives, any minute now.

For those of you who live nearby, I highly recommend this new clinic--part of the Methodist Hospital at the Quarry.  The treatment I got there was extraordinary!