"Befriending...Feelings"

In The Metaphors We Live By--a book by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, the linguist-writers give thousands of examples of metaphors that reflect how we (who use those metaphors every day without even thinking about them) grow to think and feel about whatever we're talking about.  This has always interested me and even more so now that we have publicly-admitted "alternative facts" to confuse our thinking even more.

A metaphor is never an exact way of saying that one thing is like another thing, but they are poetic ways to express likenesses and enrich our way of seeing.  After generations of using the same metaphors, however, they are often assumed to be true without our stopping to think: Is this thing really like this other thing?

For English-major types like me, and for anyone interested in how language shapes and reflects our culture, this book is fascinating.  It makes you notice what you're saying and question assumptions about truth.

Arguing, for example, is a process by which people share conflicting points of view.  We could think of  arguments as a conversational dance, but we don't. Our inherited metaphors in this culture are all war-related:

Your claims are indefensible
He attacked every weak point in my argument.
Her criticisms were right on target.
I demolished his argument.
You disagree?  Okay, shoot!
If you use that strategy, he'll wipe you out.
He shot down all my arguments.

Time is money is another.

You're wasting my time.
This gadget will save you hours.
I don't have the time to give you.
I've invested a lot of time in her.
I lost a lot of time when I got sick.
He's living on borrowed time.

The subject is huge--I'm giving it short shrift--but it's fascinating to look at what we're saying through the lens of metaphor.

When a friend wrote me an email yesterday about "befriending the spectrum of feelings," I thought--yes that would change my life!  To see feelings as worthy of friendship, even the "negative" ones I'd rather hide in the closet, is hugely liberating.

Imagine!  Being friends with not only Happy-Face emotions but sadness, heartbreak, remorse, regret, anger, and anxiety--there's an idea that can change any life.  Imagine saying, "Depression and I had conversation today" or "Grief came to visit this afternoon" or "I'm hanging out with Anger until I can figure out what she has to say."

Befriending is a powerful metaphor! It suggests taking care of, listening to, and being real.