Happy Valentine's Day, Everybody!

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

-Mary Oliver


Yesterday five of us writers met over flowers, presents and pink-iced Valentine's cake, all gifts from Sharon.  The Saturday Topo Chicas and the Sunday Writers are merging, and it's going to be a terrific group.  We wrote about Valentine's Day for one thing.

Sharon, the bringer of flowers and cake and presents

We remembered our days of decorating boxes with feathers and glitter and paint, then counting up our valentines from classmates at the end of the day, always hoping that one certain boy in the class would do more than sign his name on the card.  Sometimes we got lucky and he wrote "Love."

I'm remembering all my valentines through the years, starting with first grade boyfriend Jim McCoy.   We made sugar and butter sandwiches on white bread in his kitchen, but we never kissed.

Then there was Mike Parker--the boy I danced with to "I Want To Hold Your Hand" and all the other Beatles songs, the new boy in town who was killer handsome. Unlike Jim--who stayed babyface and sweet always, Mike was a bad boy sort of boyfriend who sent me notes in algebra class and  said "I love you, Beautiful!" whole sentence with an exclamation point at the end. (I can still see his handwriting.)

At 18, I married the man who'd been my valentine all through high school.  Some years he'd stop at the grocery store and pick up a straggly bunch of carnations on Valentine's Day, but mostly not.

We had us one weird marriage--more like a an awkward alliance of two strangers, punctuated with--what else can I call it?--meanness. We could go weeks without speaking a word to each other.  Who were those people? I wonder now.  And why did it take me 28 years to leave? When I see him now--which I do from time to time--it's like seeing someone I knew just a little bit once upon a time.

I'm looking around me tonight at my life and seeing that out of that box of darkness came some of the best gifts of my life.  Day and Will, for starters--and now their children, my precious grandchildren, forever valentines. And San Antonio--incredibly wonderful friends, beautiful city.  What a life of freedom and joy this is!

Some people may take happy for granted, but on Valentines week, I'm grateful to every love and friendship, even a few disasters, that brought me to this place.