Words Tell Us What Matters To The People Who Use Them

Masters Degree.  Master Bedroom. Mastery.

Mistress Degree?  Mistress' Bedroom?  (There's no exact feminine equivalent for "mastery")

History (HIS-story, of course; it's male stories we studied under that moniker.  History classes were all about memorizing dates of wars and conquests, carried out by men.)

Her-story?  (As Elizabeth Gilbert said, "While Odysseus was out sleeping with goddesses and conquering his enemies, Penelope was sitting at home weaving, weaving, weaving, waiting for her man to come home.  What kind of story is that?")

History, Religion, Education--all filled with male words to describe the heroes, the leaders, the warriors, the philosophers, the figureheads of religious movements, the travelers.

Where are the powerful, wise, courageous women?  Until the last three seconds in history (if you look at time in the biggest picture), women are practically invisible--except as silent, life-giving, nurturing mothers and wives.

When Joseph Campbell described the "hero's journey," he was working from the stories he had to work with at the time--stories of ordinary men answering a call to action, overcoming obstacles, and continuing on to their various "Promised Lands"--whether they arrived there or not.

When I went to the Iowa writing workshop, I took some writing in which I said what Gilbert said in her Oprah interview.  (What happened to that writing? Why did I never send it out or do anything with it? Maybe that's the subject of my next post.)

The point is: women are now telling their own stories of courage and adventure--and the demons and monsters and enemies in our stories are often the ones in our own heads.  Rarely do we bring out the guns and swords and apply them to the heads and hearts of other people.

Maybe women are open to more journeys in one lifetime than men are?  Maybe our journeys are loopier, less linear? Maybe we waited so long (in the big arc of history) to start writing because the Powers That Be  punished women for speaking out?

I would love to hear Penelope's version of those years while Odysseus was away.  What was going on in her psyche while she sat at her loom all those hours, just weaving her life away?

Homer, the man (of course!) who told the story of Odysseus--well, he had her staying home, waiting, faithful to her man, rejecting suitors.  Ten years, the Trojan War waged on and on and on,  her husband away, and all she had on her mind was weaving? 

As long as men were the only tellers of stories, women were given precious few speaking parts. "Just sit in the back of the wagon, Woman!"  was the unspoken (sometimes, spoken!) sentiment of the times.

Or: "Just be quiet.  Be my cardboard version of woman--virtuous, submissive, speechless--and we'll get along just fine."