I'm really getting into these pages of my art journal!  Feels like being a kid again, when my favorite things to do were inspired by my best book of childhood, a gift from my daddy bought on a rare out-of-state business trip: Making Things.

My ex-spouse  would quibble with the word "Art" being used so cavalierly, but his voice now is only a faint echo in my head and I'm not listening.

One page involves old patterns for dresses with snippets of color that remind me of the scraps of cotton fabric always under Carlene's sewing machine when she made all our clothes: kettle cloth, seersucker, corduroy, calico, gingham--I just loved the names of those fabrics we bought at McConnels dime store, our source for cloth and patterns. Making this page brought those days back in color.

Another page is about the circus of all things--inspired by a piece of sheet music I found at YeYa's--"Children at the Circus" and a clown photo from my stash of photographs.

At this point in my playing, I'm learning what materials do what.  But I find I'm sort of obsessed with the efforts until a page pleases me.

Pam posted a quotation the other day that speaks to why we make things:

"We don't write, make music paint, dance, make crafts, do carpentry, or garden to have our efforts published and critically admired.  We do it for our souls, to enter a divine dance, to connect ourselves to the heart of things.  Sometimes we cannot save the world, but we can save our own sanity....by nurturing our souls."  Ron Rolheiser.

I'm going to take a break from soul-nurturing and watch the Cohen interview this morning, but then I'll get right back to it.  Here's the first page of my journal:

Sunday, February 24

Chris came from Kerrville for a one-night retreat in the casita--and we had a beautiful Sunday as San Antonio tourists.   The sunshine and the fish tacos at La Tuna, Mockingbird Handprints at Blue Star, and the pop up shops at the Brick--it was like a spring all-day party with one of my favorite people!

If you don't know Jane Bishop's shop, Mockingbird Handprints, check it out.  She features various artists and her own work--textiles, pottery, furniture, jewelry and collages.   So inspiring to walk around and soak up all the creative energy there!

We bought some pretty soaps from one of the Brick vendors. When his mother had cancer, he created a lavender soap to soothe her skin after radiation, then all his friends started asking for soaps--and it turned into a thriving business.

Chris bought me a beautiful painting on wood by an artist named Angelica.  Chris' was her first purchase, her first show at the Brick, so a friend of hers took pictures of the three of us, the creator, the giver, and the happy receiver.

Chris, Angelica, and me 

Chris chose exactly the painting I'd have picked! 

Angelica--who paints women because she has had
so many "strong women" in her life--including her single mother
and grandmother and now, friends. . 

After delicious fish tacos at La Tuna.

We poked around a bit at YeYa's, and I came away with a few vintage dress patterns, sheet music, and old papers to use in collage.

After Chris headed back to Kerrville, I made a page in my journal and then joined Pam and Kay and our new friend Linda from Indiana for the first part of the Oscars and dinner at Linda's house two streets away.

Meanwhile, I got these snapshots from Day's happy family last week at Disneyworld.  "What we learned is that we're not Disney people, but we're wandering around and go-cart riding people."
They had a great trip overall, just don't like standing in long lines.  These four have fun wherever they go.

Screenshots

It would be so easy to just watch tutorials and never actually do anything!

It can be mesmerizing to watch the ways different artists approach their pages and canvases.  It's tempting to think that if you buy just one more thing you'll have everything you need.

I have taken screen shots from a variety of videos to inspire me to step away from the temptations and actually continue now in my actual art journals, making mistakes, making messes, and trying out some of the materials I now have stacked so neatly on my new shelving.  But first a few teasers:

Here are three examples of one tutorial about using the gel printing plates--these three all made by the 3 x 5 inch Gelli plate.

Here's a page from one of Mike Deakin's tutorials, in which he cuts a map into strips and uses it for a background.

Mike again here--stenciling over a heart cut out of corrugated cardboard...

And here is Marieke Blokland in her Wanderlust

class on drawing faces and backgrounds; 

Marieke Blokland

Here's a new artist for you to explore on You Tube: Marieke Blokland.

In the Wanderlust class I'm taking, we get a new lesson every week, each by a different artist.   Blokland has been my favorite so far, and I was enchanted by her class on doodling faces last night.

"I can't do portraits and I can't draw a straight line," she said in her introduction, then proceeded to show us how to draw six potatoes and doodle different faces, different noses, different mouths.  I haven't done my six potatoes yet but this is definitely one I'll try.

Check her out on You Tube if you're doing art journals, or think you'd like to do one!

This is my kind of art class--fun and loose and colorful!

Writing group was small last night, but so so good!
This is my one remaining writing group, and I love the people in it.  One of them, absent last night, had introduced us to our prompt of the month: "Listen to your mother."  This is a national and annual event in U.S. cities on May 11, and you can see some samples on You Tube.

To be on stage at the Tobin on May 11th for the readings, writers will audition this weekend, and to my great delight at least four people (two in last night's group, two in former groups) are going to give it a go.  I definitely want to attend the event on May 11th, so mark your calendars if you'd like to attend with me.

Most of the readers last year were young mothers who wrote about being mothers.  Jennie, who introduced us to this project and who is one of the San Antonio organizers, was featured in the Brevard Report in the newspaper this week.  She encouraged me to post it for writers--and said that they hoped for more "mature writers" to submit pieces this year. The four who are auditioning this weekend are all over 60, so I'm guessing that will qualify as mature?

After group, I worked on one of my collages until 1:00 in the morning. Having all my supplies in half of one room is such a pleasure.  What we devote space and time to is a reminder of what matters most to us.  For too long, I've had scissors in one room, markers in another, paper in another.  With that arrangement, it takes too long to find things and it's easy to abandon an idea if you have to look all over the house for what you need.

So now I'm up having my morning coke and putting finishing touches on my project before going back to bed for a bit.  Jan and I will be leaving for Kerrville around noon to attend Barbara's funeral.

Tuesday

Janet, Charlotte, Kate and I celebrated  Gerlinde's beautiful book and Charlotte's birthday at Gerlinde's house.  On a cold and otherwise dreary day, we sat by a cozy fire enjoying the aroma of lunch cooking in the kitchen, all the while talking about books, photography, and travel.  Hardly a whiff of politics--though we're all on the same page on that tired subject!

I always leave this group inspired to do or try (or consider trying) something entirely new.  Or to read a book or see a film I hadn't heard of before.  Or to answer a question one of us poses that needs  time and reflection to answer.  Or to ask for a recipe.

Charlotte recommended a documentary I especially want to see--as soon as I can find my iTunes password.  It's about the artist, Yayoi Kusama, and can be rented through Apple TV or iTunes.

Thought-provoking conversation, laughter, and truly yummy food--what would we do without  friendships that feed all our parts? Gerlinde, among so many other things, is an artist of hostessing!

From there, I drove to Helotes to pick up Nathan and Elena, take them to karate and dance, then out to dinner at a Chinese bistro they like.  They have now agreed they "hate" my favorite Mexican restaurant--though it was only recently that Elena gave it five-stars!

Look whose eyes are in my rearview mirror! 

I loved watching yellow belt Nathan's moves.  His sensei taught these kids while carrying and kissing his baby daughter--what a delightful sight!

An Art Day Saturday

        Today, Pam introduced me to another Linda--her new friend and my new neighbor--from Indiana.  We went to the On and Off Fredricksburg exhibits by textile artists, jewelry-makers, painters, and even one woman whose art is making beautiful arrangements of succulents in vintage containers.

       What a wonderful day it was to immerse ourselves in the works of local celebrators of creativity!

       We visited Alison's studio, then drove to Jane Dunnewold's studio on Woodlawn.  Pam and I both bought a wrap from Jane Bishop, the fiber artist who made a pair of chairs I enjoy every day in my living room.  Pam's friend Bill and her grandson Ben joined us, and we all went to lunch at Lisa's Mexican Cafe on Bandera Road.

       I stopped on the way, at Woodlawn Lake, to take a picture of this fine feathered family:

   

Friday

Friday was a good day all around in my world.
Will came and helped me hang shelves, so I was able to get all the boxes and stacks off the floor, finally, and into the closet.

Then Jan and I had a delicious visit with Lorraine, first on the patio of Pam's Cafe (yesterday was a record high in February for SA), then on Lorraine's roof!

During dinner I got these pics from my kids.

Day's family is heading to Orlando and Disneyworld.  Every February Tom has a conference in Orlando; every year the kids and Day have opted not to go.  Now that Jackson is a junior in high school, they all decided they wanted to go.

Jackson, Marcus, and Daisy

Will's family is hiking at Lost Maples, Conway wearing a back pack to carry his and Charlie's water bottles, and every one in the family carrying brand new back packs filled with camping stuff and dehydrated food and tents.

Charlie, Elena, and Conway

Will and Elena and Nathan

Happy Hearts Day

Well, my personal trainer is giving out valentines in first grade and I woke up so sore I can barely move--thanks to a two-hour trampoline workout yesterday.

What a beautiful day it is, today, like spring.  Happy Valentine's Day, Everybody!

I'm going to tackle these shelves today and drill those holes myself like a big girl, encouraged by Elena's words yesterday when I reminded her that I'm 70 and she's 7.  "Well, you sure don't act like you're seventy--look at you making those hoops!"

Every time either of us made a hoop, we screeched with joy (and for my hoops shock!) and said, "Yay, the crowd is cheering!"  At one point, I collapsed on the mat and begged off, at which point, she bounced me by continuing to jump (the girl never gets tired!) and then found my white hair hilarious as it was standing straight up with static.

I am not one accustomed to crowds cheering, being one of the two least athletic girls in school.  But I like it.  I'll go back for more, soon as they get back from their back-packing weekend at Lost Maples.

Will is obsessed right now with acquiring back-packing equipment and dried foods.  What can I say? It parallels my obsession with art supplies!

We talked in the driveway last night about our two current passions and how enlivening it is to start something new that we enjoy, he blogging and back-packing, me blogging and making art journal pages.

They've sold their big camper and are moving now to a closer-to-nature style of camping, and the kids are as excited as their parents.  It's fun to see them so excited about these trips they are taking.

"We buy all these houses so we can go sleep in the woods on the ground," Will said--referring to their having bought 11 or 12 fixer uppers that they're renting.

This morning he called to thank me for yesterday--he always does that--and to tell me that it meant a lot to them that we went by Nando's shop, too.  "Grandparents are so important to kids," he said.  "Mine were so instrumental in shaping me and what I love."

Here he is giving a Valentine's rose to his littlest Valentine before school:

Wednesday Afternoon

I picked Elena up after school so her parents could have their Valentine's Day Eve date night....

First we went to visit Papi at his shop, Mexico Linda, where he sells Mexican pottery and imports. (It's right on Bandera Road across from the elementary school if you need to buy pots, fountains,  bird feeders, tiled mirrors or anything from South of the Border.)

He loaded her up with presents and kisses.

 "Hola, Papi!" she said, surprising him by walking into his shop office alone.

 "Hola, Mija!" he replied.  After that, I didn't follow their conversation in Spanish until we were leaving and she said, "Gracias, Papi!'

We spent a happy afternoon at her house, playing with Charlie and Conway, Oreo and Yancy....

Raking leaves for Elena to jump into and toss Charlie into....

On the trampoline, Elena taught me how to play tramp basketball: "Hold your arms up higher, Yenna, then flick your wrists like this...."

She found my hair spiked with static electricity hilarious--

I spent a beautiful day in Kerrville with my friend Chris.  We originally met years ago at a Story Circle Conference, and today I was invited to attend her Kerrville chapter of that group.

The model of this group is not like my groups.  They rotate leadership, meet twice a month, and the leader provides prompts, and members read their writing only if they want to.  One of the topics of the day was names, how we feel about our names.  In listening to the readings, it struck me how connected we are not only to our own names but to the odd-sounding names of our great grandmothers and aunts, names that sound antique and beautiful.

There is no critique of writing; rather, the writing is used to stimulate conversations.  After the meeting, we went out to lunch together and I had the best chicken salad with cranberries.

I came home and straightened up my crafts supplies--again--having found no one yet to drill the holes to install my new shelves.  And I made one more page in my tiniest journal, a journal I bought years ago in Virginia, the cover of which is an old postcard.

As Emerson said, "The world laughs in flowers."

The theme for this little notebook that seems to be emerging is flowers.

I'm pairing the collage with quotations and writing related to the image, like this one:

“She wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes. She spoke to no one. She spent hours on the riverbank. She smoked cigarettes and had midnight swims...”

― Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

Saturday

Today has been entirely self-indulgent and fun!

The yard man/shelf installer didn't make it due to the rain and cold, but in spite of the mess, the stacks of boxes waiting to find homes on nice new Elfa shelves whenever, (where would I put a dog in this chaos?), I have actually made three or four journal pages AND another small tray for a gift.

I've watched a few videos, stopped and tried the technique, or not, and watched a few more.

Among my interesting discoveries today:

1. Scribble Sticks and other cool color sticks activated by water.

2. Decoupaging tissue paper

3. A process called Dirty Pour--in which you mix up acrylics, floetrol, glue, and silicon and pour it on gessoed paper or wood or canvas, and let it swirl all over the place, willy nilly.  For this project, you need a bunch of little cups and an aluminum pan--but Lorrie Marie will show you all that on You Tube.

4. Transferring photos to canvas

5. How to apply resin for thick shiny coats.

I've also made a syllabus for the entire spring line-up of writing groups.  I've written a short essay.  I've taken my broken printer to Office Max, thought I had it fixed, but it's still not printing.  And, finally, throughout the day eaten a whole box of Tagalong Girl Scout cookies!

The trick, for me, in getting so much accomplished and having so much shameless fun is not getting dressed all day.

And not feeling guilty for my sugar transgressions.  After all, as my friend Barbel says about ice cream, it's all going to be rancid if you don't go ahead and consume it while it's fresh.

Nikki Giovanni

"Don't read your early poetry.  Because you'll contradict yourself.  And if you don't contradict yourself, you haven't learned anything."

Listen to this interview with the 75-year-old poet on the podcast, Death Sex and Money.  It's delightful:

https://www.wnycstudios.org/shows/deathsexmoney

I listened to this podcast yesterday driving to La Grange to meet Beverly for lunch at the wonderful and cozy Bistro 108.

Beverly and I have been friends since we were in our twenties, now we are closing in on Nikki's age. We, like Nikki, are loving this age and all its freedoms!

I came home with a list of books and movies to see, including Twentieth Century Women, starring Annette Bening--which I watched last night.  It's on Amazon and I recommend it for women who remember the 1950s and to those who don't.

Wednesday

"Well, it's  been a quiet week in Lake Wobegone...."

Which is exactly what I wanted....

Dog circling as I do, re-building my nest of a house even as I enjoy being in it messy, I've organized my crafts and arts supply right up to Marie Kondo's standards.  I got my sewing machine fixed yesterday at Jo Ann's--which was, more accurately, getting myself fixed.  (I'd had it for over a year and not used it because I couldn't figure out how to thread it.). "We usually don't work with SOBs like this," Marsha said, the sewing person at Jo Ann's.  (Some Other Brands).  But she did, and in five minutes I was fixed and ready to sew.

Now the little Brother is humming along and all the pins and threads and bobbins property stored in the sewing box,  Black markers are in the black marker box, watercolor paints and pencils are in the watercolor box, all the various glues are in the Sticky Stuff box, etc.  I labeled them last night while watching Mike make art journal pages.

While watching I learned many things, these being the top three for the day:

1. If you don't want your pages to stick together, coat them with chap stick or dry wax candles, or better still--clear gesso.

2. You can get beautiful textures on your pages with something called Texture Paste.

3. You need to wear gloves if you use Distress Spray.

Now I'm off to Elfa to pick up some shelves to hold said boxes in the closet.  (I'm driving to La Grange tomorrow to see Beverly and the yard man is going to screw in the hardware to hang the shelves on Saturday).

Let's see if all this circling dog-style leads to some actual play on pages after all the supplies are in place.

Speaking of dogs, I've decided to put aside getting a puppy, for now.  Maybe next year.

Hi, my name is Linda, and I am an addict in good standing in various support groups.  Here are 3:

1.

The 40% Off coupon At Michael's group has probably millions of members, but at the moment I will only mention two--myself and Pam.  On several occasions, I have gotten a call from Pam saying, "Tell me to get out of here" while she's shopping the aisles of Michaels, deciding what to spend her coupon on.  At the moment, I am a lousy sponsor because I only encourage her--and vice versa.

This is an addiction about which I have no shame--in fact, I think it's my higher power that takes me there week after week to get some item I've heard Mike Deakins name as essential for art journaling.

I am at the moment, enjoying every drop of paint potential in my red drawers, every squeeze of the pipette, every stroke of the brushes, so I am not repentant as members of support groups should probably be.

Colors feed the soul.  Imagining different ways to spread colors--well, I think that IS my higher power, whether with words or paints.

2.

Another support group is Puppy-Lovers-Not-Anonymous.

We talked last night about the pros and cons of my getting a puppy.  I have two higher powers at the moment in this club--the cuddly one and the practical one.  They are still duking it out.

Kate has always said, "Do not get a dog and if you consider doing it, call me first."  But when she saw the picture of the Coton du Tulear (cotton ball from the village of Tulear in Madagascar) she waved her hand and said, "Oh, you can get that one!"  (For one thing his daddy weighs 8 pounds and he's not going to get much heavier than a can of Diet Coke.)

Pam said, "Get thee out of the pet shop!  If you want a dog, go to the Humane Society and adopt one."  (This has always been my point of view as well, so she affirmed the practical wisdom of that version of higher power.)

Bonnie said, "If you love it, do it.  Life is short.  If it brings you pleasure, go for it."  She added for good measure, "When people die, they don't regret what they've done, only what they've wanted to do and not done."

Jan and Kate and Will's whole family voted thumbs up for a little house puppy, the kids generously offering free puppy-keeping when I travel--however, traveling with a little furry companion is one of my motivations for wanting one!

3.  Choice Makers Anonymous

Some say it's a quality of Libras--taking forever to decide.  By the time I got my first Mini Cooper, I had interviewed every Mini driver I could find.  My years of Minis are years I'll always remember fondly, no regrets!

If I had unlimited funds, this little guy would already be in my bed with me.  But the expense of buying and flying a purebred dog makes it a big deal decision, not one to be taken lightly, not one to be rushed into.

At the moment, I'm leaning toward giving myself a few months to do the research and think it through, but the prospect of bringing a furry little anonymous puppy home and making him my guy reminds me of what the In-Love-Years felt like!

A Trip To The Farm

This afternoon I drove to visit my Helotes family and their menagerie.  Yancy, their horse, has Junior, Papi's horse, visiting, so for a while there are two....

Greeting the visitor upon arrival are Conway Twitty and Charlie, as if posing for a portrait!

Then Nathan and Elena introduce me to their new goat, Oreo, who has to be penned due to his pleasure in butting people.

It's a lovely afternoon, low 70s, and we enjoy the outside before proceeding inside:

Inside, I finally get to meet Paco, Elena's new cockatiel--and he's a happy little guy who clearly prefers Elena and Nathan to visitors....

And finally, the helmet crabs....whose names, I'm sorry to say, I've quite forgotten, but one is orange and one is blue.

Had to share this from Holstee

                                         You’re not invisible.

For months, I’ve been going to the park near my house to do my morning stretching.

The first few times, I was unfamiliar with the place, and with the people. I tend to be shy in new environments, so I kept to myself. Headphones on, music playing, I focused on my exercise routine and avoided eye contact. I didn't want to disrupt anyone, so I chose to ignore everyone. I was, in a way, pretending I was invisible.

After a few weeks, I began to recognize some familiar faces. But by then, I had gotten so used to not acknowledging anyone that I thought it might be perceived as odd to start saying hello now. Maybe they hadn’t seen me and wouldn’t recognize me like I recognized them?

Then one day, this older silver-haired man with a white sweatband, tiny running shorts and socks up to his knees came to the park. He immediately greeted me, shook my hand and started his workout. As he jogged off, I saw that it wasn't just me he was acknowledging, but everyone he passed. A smile to the guy walking his dog, an encouraging thumbs up to the woman doing squats, a good morning to the family biking to school — this guy was sending out good vibes to everyone.

It might just be me, but that little bit of acknowledgement made me feel welcome — not just welcome in the park, but welcome on this planet. It was a reminder that we are all in this together, that we’re part of something greater. It made me feel better about myself. And it planted the seed that today might be a great day.

He was planting seeds of trust, openness, and community in everyone he passed, just by simply acknowledging that we all exist.

The skeptical voice in my head, the one that is constantly bombarded with messages of fear, tells me not to trust strangers — that someone who engages with me probably wants something in return, that it’s best to keep my head down. But if we border ourselves with walls built of fear, we not only block out perceived threats but we also miss out on the possibility of love, friendship, new ideas and adventure.

In the spirit of this month's theme, Kinship, I am going out of my way to acknowledge people and grow the sense of community we all live in.

Make someone feel welcome; you may just make their day.


Dave Radparvar
Co-Founder, Holstee

Monday Morning

Sunday was a beautiful day in San Antonio.  Jan and Kate next door hosted a lovely happy hour for me and Dana.  I'd been wanting Kate and Dana (who rents the casita) to meet--as they are both moms of two boys.  Another friend came with her boy and the five boys had a good time playing with balls and dogs.  Three dogs total, five boys, four women, all fun!

I came home and watched The Wife with Glenn Close--very good.  Then of course, watched a few artsy videos.

What I'm learning by watching various artists do different techniques is this:

I can be watching the making of something and think, "Oh, this one is going to be awful" then he or she keeps adding and moving things and it turns out to be beautiful!

I already knew that's how it works with writing, but I'd been too long intimidated to try out the same things on paper with permanent ink, water color, and other art supplies.  Making lines and squiggles, gluing over what you don't like with something else--it's magical!

Paul Klee said, "A line is just a dot in motion." I like that.

Now I'm ready to give it a go, make some marks, and see what happens--after Will comes this morning to help me move some heavy things and complete the organization of the work space.

Two Conversations with Elena

1.

Riding by Alamo Heights High School with Elena on Tuesday, I noticed a series of yard signs announcing the upcoming performance of "Fiddler on The Roof."

"I want to take you to see that," I said.

"What?  Just somebody standing up on the roof playing a fiddle?"

I explained the theme of the play and decided to give her a sample of one of the songs, "Sunrise, Sunset...."

My voice was croaky and I felt tears clogging my throat when I got to the phrase: When did you grow to be a beauty?  When did you grow to be so tall?  Wasn't it yesterday that...."  And I couldn't sing anymore.

"Are you crying, Yenna?" she asked from the backseat.

"Yes, a little bit," I said.  "That song always makes me kind of sad.  Aunt Day, too--she won't let anyone sing that song around her."

"Just because of sunrise and sunset you cry?"

I couldn't tell her more.  I didn't want to bore her with how fast the days turn into years, the years into decades--because after all, even though she's already a beauty in her grandmother's adoring eyes, that Tuesday was a future yesterday and she's still small.

2.

When we got to Bee's--one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, there was a case filled with pastries.  Pretty to look at, but not tempting.

"I don't care for Mexican pastries," I said.

She got a look on her face that reminded me precisely of the look her seventeen-year-old cousin Jackson used to have on his face when the inner wheels were spinning.

"I don't think you should tell me that," she finally said.  "Because I think I'm a little bit Mexican."

There you go, Yenna, being culturally insensitive! I thought to myself smiling at a girl who's starting to understand the threads of who she is and doesn't want any part of her identity dis-respected, even the sweets she might eat at Papi's house.

"But I'll get you one if you like," I added, hoping to erase my unintentional faux pas.

"No," she said.  "I don't like them either."