Friendship and Loneliness

How often have we heard this litmus test for friendship:   "Who would you call at 3 a.m. if you felt lonely or afraid, or just needed to talk?"

Short of an actual emergency, my answer has always been, "Nobody"--with the exception of a couple of former men-friends who were nighttime roamers like me and happy to talk at any hour.

I mean, really--would you want your phone to ring at three in the morning in the middle of a good dream to hear me say, "Hi, it's me....I think I hear something rat-like in the house"?

For one thing, I don't want to disturb anyone's sleep; for another, I've rarely been so desperately afraid or lonely that I needed to talk at that hour.  Middle-of-the-night hours are precious times for driving Austin Highway or reading or moving things around in my house, especially when it's raining, as it was this morning.

On this morning's drive at 4 a.m. I heard a program on NPR I'd not heard before: Hidden Brain.

https://www.npr.org/2018/03/19/594719471/guys-we-have-a-problem-how-american-masculinity-creates-lonely-men How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men.

The portion I heard was applicable to everyone.  How do our ideas about ourselves create loneliness?   Where is the line between solitude and loneliness?  People who have caring and supportive people are much less likely to experience certain illnesses common in middle age and old age.   This podcast, which I'll hear in its entirety when I hit the road, talks about why.






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